More Shakti

Dear Friends,

I'm still learning so much from Shakti Gawain's book, Living in The Light, that I just had to share more of my favourite passages with you.

In the chapter entitled The World as Our Mirror, Shakti reminds us that the physical world is our creation. That we each create our very own version of the world, our particular reality, our unique life experience. And just as an artist looks at his latest creation to see what works well and what doesn't, we can look at the ongoing masterwork of our lives to appreciate who we are and to recognize what we still need to learn.

She tells us to see the external world as a giant mirror which reflects both our spirits and our forms clearly and accurately. Viewed in this way, the external world can teach us about hidden aspects of ourselves that we can't see directly.

The Mirror Process is based on two premises:

1. I assume that everything in my life is my reflection, my creation; there are no accidents or events that are unrelated to me. If I see or feel something, if it has any impact on me, then my being has attracted or created it to show me something. If it didn't mirror some part of myself, I wouldn't even be able to see it. All the people in my life are reflections of the various characters and feelings that live inside of me.

2. I try never to put myself down for the reflections I see. I know that nothing is negative. Everything is a gift that brings me to self awareness; after all, I'm here to learn. If I was already perfect I wouldn't be here. Why should I get angry at myself when I see things I've been unconscious of? It would be like a first grader getting frustrated because he wasn't in college yet. I try to maintain a compassionate attitude toward myself and my learning process. To the extent that I can do this, the learning process becomes fun and really quite interesting.

I am learning to view my life as a fascinating and adventurous movie. All the characters in it are parts of me played out on the big screen so that I can clearly see them. Once I see them and recognize their various feelings and voices inside myself, it is easy to choose which characters to keep and expand, and which ones to let go of or transform.

If the movie portrays problems, hassles, or struggles, I know I must check inside to find out where I'm not being true to myself. I also know that when I'm trusting and being myself as fully as possible, everything in my life reflects this by falling into place easily, often miraculously.

The author goes on to say that in being true to yourself, you will feel more alive. But you may also feel uncomfortable. This is because you are risking change. As you undergo certain changes, you may experience intense emotions. She encourages you to allow these emotions to express themselves, to let the feelings come up and flush through you -- they are being cleaned out and healed by the light.

External feedback is also a great mirror: your doubts and fears will often be reflected in the reactions of those around you. If your friends and family question or judge the changes in you, recognize that they are simply mirroring the doubting, fearful voices in you, such as, "What if I'm doing the wrong thing? Can I really trust this process?"

Respond to such feedback from others in whatever way you feel is appropriate: reassure them, ignore them, argue with them, whatever. The important thing is to recognize that you are really dealing with your inner fears. Affirm that you are learning to trust yourself more and more. You will be amazed to see how others immediately mirror your increasing self-trust and confidence by responding to you with trust and confidence.

Remember:

If you judge and criticize, others will judge and criticize you.

If you hurt yourself, others will hurt you.

If you lie to yourself, others will lie to you.

If you are irresponsible to yourself, others will be irresponsible in relation to you.

If you blame yourself, others will blame you.

If you do violence to yourself emotionally, others will do violence to you emotionally, or even physically.

If you don't listen to your feelings, no one will listen to your feelings.

If you love yourself, others will love you.

If you respect yourself, others will respect you.

If you trust yourself, others will trust you.

If you are honest with yourself, others will be honest with you.

If you are gentle and compassionate with yourself, others will treat you with compassion.

If you appreciate yourself, others will appreciate you.

If you honour yourself, others will honour you.

If you enjoy yourself, others will enjoy you.

All in all...start creating your masterpiece!

Hugs and Loads of Love,
Mudd
xoxo

If you want to know more about Shakti and how to purchase her books, go to her website by clicking here.

Questions or not, I'd love to hear from you. Please email me at
anxietybuster@gmail.com or simply click the link on the sidebar.

Love Your Body

Hello Beautiful Souls!

Sorry I was away for so long. I've been celebrating my birthday since August 16 -- bathing in the love of family and friends, eating out, having fun, enjoying every bit of what life has to offer. I thought of you many times, trying not to feel guilty about not posting. I must say I'm happy to be back, and hope I'm not only older, but wiser as well.

To continue on our journey, I'd like to share with you yet another book, one that is bringing me much comfort these days: Living in The Light, A Guide to Personal and Planetary Transformation, by Shakti Gawain.

In it, there's a chapter entitled Your Perfect Body where the author tells us to appreciate our body, to focus on what we like about ourselves. She says that the more willing we are to do this, the easier it will become. That our body will respond to this appreciation and grow increasingly beautiful.

For me, my body is still a preoccupation, and this bothers me. I'd like to think I'm past being concerned with the physical -- but no. I've heard that it's common for people who have been sexually abused to think they are ugly, to not like their body. Well, that's exactly how I've felt most of my life. Even if I've worked hard to break away from this negative belief, there are times when I find myself struggling with the way I look. So I've been following a few of Shakti Gawain's suggestions, and already I feel a better connexion with my body. Here are a few of my favourite exercises for you to try out.

Ritual For Loving Your Body

Stand naked in front of a full-length mirror. Send positive thoughts to every part of your body. Even if you don't like your body or don't approve of certain parts of your body, look for something of beauty in every part of yourself. Realize that your body has been serving you for years. Thank your body for its service. Realize it has only been following your directions.

For example, you might say to yourself, "You have beautiful, thick, shiny hair." Then look in the mirror at your hair and see its beauty, its shine and glow. Even if it isn't shining and glowing as much as you like, continue to see it and appreciate yourself as you are, saying, "I love the way you look. You have beautiful hands. You have strong, healthy legs. You have clear skin. You have shining eyes."

Run through each part of your body in this way and really send it love and appreciation. Find a way to appreciate every part of yourself. And thank your body for being with you for however many years, following your desires and serving you. It has been doing for you what you have asked of it. If you like, you can play music that you love, and use candles or flowers while performing this ritual. Do this ritual once or twice a day for at least a week. This ritual shows your body how much you appreciate and respect it. Your body has been criticized, judged, and rejected by you for years. It will respond quickly to love and energy. You will feel lighter and more energized. You will start looking more beautiful. The lines in your face will relax. You will start to glow with strength and health. You will be amazed at the results of loving your body.

Visualization Exercises

1. Whenever you think of your body, see it the way you want it to be. Know that your body is perfect and affirm this. Take a few minutes during the day to close your eyes and visualize your body at the weight, size, and strength you desire. See your body as energized and powerful. See and feel energy moving through you.
2. Use a picture from a magazine to help you visualize your perfect body. Choose a picture of a body that looks the way you would look in great shape, cut it out, and paste it on the wall. Place it where you'll look at it daily. See the picture as your body. You can even paste a picture of your face on the picture so it's your face with your perfect body.

Meditation

Sit or lie down in a comfortable position. Take a few deep breaths and relax your body. With each exhalation, let go of what you don't want or need; see any tension, frustration, or tiredness leave your body. As you inhale, take in everything you want or desire: relaxation, serenity, strength, prosperity, and joy.

From this relaxed, rejuvenated place, see your body before you. Imagine your body looking exactly the way you want it to be. Observe it in as much detail as possible. You are now your perfect weight, size, and shape. Your body is energized, strong, and powerful. When you look at your face and body, you see your beauty. You look exactly the way you want to look. You feel the way you want to feel.

You can feel what it is like to have a body that supports your spirit. Your spirit says "do this" and your body, in all its perfection, is there to match your inner wisdom.

You are beauty, strength, and energy.

Big Hugs,
Mudd
xoxo

To purchase Living in The Light, go to Amazon.com by clicking here.

Questions or not, I'd love to hear from you. Please email me at
anxietybuster@gmail.com or simply click the link on the sidebar.

Guilty or Not Guilty?

Hi Friends!

Now here's a fun book to browse through.

Who Are You? 101 Ways of Seeing Yourself is designed to help you find out more about yourself. It contains 101 mirrors of self-discovery in which you can recognize your dominant behavior, your body type, how you feel and act, how you think and approach your spirituality.

The author, Malcolm Godwin, has drawn "tests" from ancient and modern techniques from both the East and the West, and these "tests" are divided into four sections -- the body, the emotions, the intellect, and the spirit. Each assessment takes no more than a few minutes to complete, and is accompanied by a brief description of the history and principles behind the method or technique.

Definitily a great way to understand how others see you...
and how you see yourself.

Some of the tests you'll find in the book:

• Are you left-brain or right brain dominant?
• How well do you cope with emotional stress?
• How do you think? -- Verbally? Analytically? Spatially?
• What does your palm tell about your personality?
• What type are you spiritually? -- Prayerful? Philosopher Sage? Devotee?

Here's an excerpt taken from the chapter on Feeling Types:

Do You Plead Guilty or Not Guilty?

The propensity to feel guilty or anxious about our behavior is a character trait that is commonly found today. Most of us are uneasy about certain aspects of our personalities. Often we blame ourselves even when our behavior hardly merits any punishment whatsoever. A certain level of guilt is, of course, necessary for some awareness of conscience. Indeed, its complete absence would be symptomatic of the extremes of psychopathy. Excessive self-abasement or recrimination, on the other hand, reveal an equally neurotic and unbalanced attitude.

Assessment

Do you:

1. feel you have spent much of your life doing things you don't really enjoy?
2. hate your present job?
3. feel bad if you let other people down?
4. worry about other people's opinion of you or your actions?
5. avoid doing things that might upset your friends?
6. find it difficult to sleep until noon on weekends, even when there is nothing urgent to do?
7. spend time in a shop trying on clothes and then feel bad if you leave without buying anything?
8. send birthday cards to people you don't really like?
9. feel upset if someone unexpectedly found you doing something intimate and private?
10. dress in clothes that will please others?
11. feel bad when you think of times you have been rude or thoughtless?
12. find yourself apologizing for something that is not really your fault?
13. say sorry when someone steps on your foot?
14. feel you have let down your parents by not living up to their expectations?
15. agree with the concept of original sin -- that you are born a sinner who must be redeemed?
16. feel that we all need some social or religious control over our natural instincts?
17. feel that Roman Catholics are right to have regular confessions of their sins?
18. sense a general disapproval from others about your person or behavior?
19. feel that you should be punished for past sins?
20. often pray for forgiveness?

Key:

Answer "yes" to 16 or more of the questions and you can be sure that at some time someone has programmed both you and your emotional center to feel guilty.

A score of 4 - 6 would suggest a healthy conscience.

A score of under 3 suggests you are either enlightened or a psychopath!

For more ways to learn who you are, check out the book at Amazon.com by clicking here.

Big hugs,
Mudd
xoxo

P.S.: Questions or not, I'd love to hear from you. Please email me at
anxietybuster@gmail.com or simply click the link on the sidebar.

Health Anxiety

Anxiety creates all kinds of weird impressions. For years, I thought I was afflicted with a whole bunch of ailments and life-threatening diseases. I was sure I had all the symptoms, but I probably created them all because of how I worried so much about dying.

Here's a book I would have loved to read during that period: It's Not All in Your Head, by Gordon J.G. Asmundson, PhD, and Steven Taylor, PhD.

In it, the authors explain that like other forms of anxiety, health anxiety involves changes in thoughts, physiology, and behavior. Also like other forms of anxiety, health anxiety can range from mild to severe. Mild health anxiety can be temporary and can sometimes be a signal to follow up on some bodily change or sensation by seeking advice from a doctor. But it can also be excessive and preoccupying. When health anxiety is out of proportion to the risk of disease and persists even though there is no evidence of disease, mental health professionals often refer to it as a health anxiety disorder. Like the other anxiety disorders, it has an impact on all aspects of health. The trick, of course, lies in figuring out what is out of proportion and inappropriately persistent. That is, how much is too much?

The Whiteley Index

Over the years, a number of tests have been developed to assist researchers and doctors in evaluating patients for health anxiety. The authors have found that the Whiteley Index is particularly useful for self-assessment. Here are the questions asked:

Answer YES or NO.

1. Do you often worry about the possibility that you have got a serious illness?
2. Are you bothered by many pains and aches?
3. Do you find that you are often aware of various things happening in your body?
4. Do you worry a lot about your health?
5. Do you often have the symptoms of very serious illness?
6. If a disease is brought to your attention (through the radio, television, newspapers, or someone you know), do you worry about getting it yourself?
7. If you feel ill and someone tells you that you are looking better, do you become annoyed?
8. Do you find that you are bothered by many different symptoms?
9. Is it easy for you to forget about yourself, and think about all sorts of other things?
10. Is it hard for you to believe the doctor when he or she tells you there is nothing for you to worry about?
11. Do you get the feeling that people are not taking your illness seriously enough?
12. Do you think that you worry about your health more than most people?
13. Do you think there is something seriously wrong with your body?
14. Are you afraid of illness?

Give yourself a point for every YES response to all questions except number 9, for which you get a point if you answered NO.

This should produce a score between 0 and 14. Higher scores indicate higher levels of health anxiety. A score of 8 or more usually indicates a high probability of a health anxiety disorder.

If you scored 8 or higher, try getting your hands on this book. It will provide you with the building blocks for learning strategies that will help you change the way you think about and respond to the bodily sensations that you are now interpreting as disease related. You'll learn the relationship between health anxiety and other mental health conditions, including the anxiety disorders and depression, which often co-occur with excessive health anxiety, as well as methods you can use to self-assess anxiety and mood disorders.

You can purchase It's Not All in Your Head at Amazon.com by clicking here.

Big hugs,
Mudd
xoxo

P.S.: Questions or not, I'd love to hear from you. Please email me at
anxietybuster@gmail.com or simply click the link on the sidebar.

Let's Relax

I just came across this very interesting website called Mind.

In the Mind Guide To Relaxation, they talk about the link between stress and relaxation, what may be wrong with the way we relax, and how to introduce more relaxation into our everyday life.

Here's a glimpse of what you can find on their site:

Regular practice
You need to have deep relaxation practices daily, or even twice a day, at the beginning. When learning any new skill, such as how to drive a car, ride a bicycle, play an instrument or perform a dance routine, you need to concentrate on each movement, at first. With regular practice and repetition, the skills become second nature and you do them automatically. It's the same with learning to be more relaxed in day-to-day living.

• If possible, plan to set aside a specific time for your regular practice. (Once you start appreciating how enjoyable relaxation is, you will look forward to it as a period of peace and pleasure).
• If you can, choose a quiet place to practise relaxation. It's easier to learn if you are not interrupted by loud sounds, the telephone or people coming in. When you become really good at relaxation, you will be able to 'switch off' even in noisy, busy environments.
• It's impossible to relax if you are cold, so make sure you are comfortably warm.
• Avoid practising relaxation when you are hungry or just after eating a meal.
• If you use a tape or CD player on remote, have the handset close by so that you can operate it without difficulty.
• Sometimes, young children enjoy relaxing with a parent, doing the exercises and then snuggling up to enjoy the peace and stillness.

Don't worry about whether you're doing everything correctly. Never try, just do! And enjoy the feeling!

Effective positions for relaxation

• Ensure table is close and arms are not stretched out • Alternatively, kneel beside a bed
	• Support under head, neck and knees • Head should be level, not tilted back or pushed forward
• Knees high enough to reduce tension in tummy • Legs on chair sideways • Support right up to behind knees • Good for relieving lower backache
	• 'Old' recovery position • Support under head and knees • Good if pregnant
• Support under pelvis • Good if overweight or with large/ heavy bust
	• Back fully supported by chair • Chin and thighs parallel to the floor • Feet and ha

For more information, go the the Mind website by clicking here.

And now, RELAX!

Hugs,
Mudd
xoxo

P.S.: Questions or not, I'd love to hear from you. Please email me at
anxietybuster@gmail.com or simply click the link on the sidebar.

Date Rape

It's happened to me more than once.

I thought for many years that it was my fault. That I had it coming to me because of the way I dressed, the way I acted, the way I drank.

But I know better now.

And I want all young people to know that date rape is RAPE, period.

In The Truth About Rape -- a book intended for teenagers -- the authors make this clear. They point out that when most people think of rape, they think of stranger rape, where the victim is stalked, followed, and attacked by someone he or she did not know.

But more than 80 percent of all reported rapes are committed by an acquaintance and can occur at home or away from home. Usually, the victim trusts the assailant.

Similar to acquaintance rape are date rape and partner rape. More than 60 percent of acquaintance rapes take place during a date. In most cases, an accused rapist, abuser, or defendant never admits he or she has committed an act against someone or even that he or she committed a crime. Assailants may also deny ever physically or sexually hurting anyone. When a sexual assault is reported and the abuser identified, abusers may admit that they did it but try to make it sound as if the victim consented or "wanted it." The abuser might say that the victim "deserved it."

The authors go on to say that beliefs about rape vary according to the type of rape that occurred. Most people would not consider the victim to blame if the rape was perpetrated by a stranger. However, if the rapist is known to the victim, the woman is more likely to be blamed.

Some people believe that when someone is sexually assaulted or raped, the man or the woman somehow "asked for it" by dressing in revealing clothing, flirting, or showing signs of encouragement.

Here are some of the myths and misinformation about date rape:

• "Maybe" means "yes."
• If a woman has previously been sexually active, she will probably be willing to have sex with other men.
• If a woman agrees to any sexual contact, including kissing or fondling, she has agreed to "go all the way."
• If a woman has had sex with a man once, she will be willing to have sex again.
• Buying dinner or gifts entitles a man to have sex with his date.
• Date rape is the result of miscommunication.
• Rape happens only when a stranger forces a woman to have sexual intercourse.
• Rape occurs only when there is physical violence or a physical struggle.

PREVENTING DATE RAPE

Psychologists and other counselors suggest that individuals take special precautions at parties and other gatherings. Those precautions include:

• Watching while a beverage is poured or accepting drinks only from bottles or cans that partygoers have opened for themselves.
• Never leaving a beverage unattended.
• Avoiding alcohol or drugs while on a date.
• Calling a friend if feeling sick or dizzy after drinking and, if necessary, calling 911.

Some experts suggest that women:

• Meet in public places on the first few dates with someone they don't know well.
• Do not go to a date's car or home or to their own home if they will be alone there.
• Plan to take public transportation home or arrange to have someone they know pick them up after a date.
• Set sexual limits and make their dates aware of those limits.
• Clearly communicate their expectations to their dates.
• Stay sober. It is easier to be in control of a stiuation when one is not under the influence of alcohol or drugs.
• Trust their instincts. If a woman feels uneasy or threatened in a situation, she should get away as quickly as possible. There is no need to explain or find an excuse to leave if one feels uncomfortable.

If you or someone you know is a victim of a date rape, psychologists and other health-care professionals suggest the following:

• Go to a friend's place. If there is no one to go to, call someone you can talk to, no matter how late it is.
• Get medical attention. Do not shower, bathe, or change your clothing first. Go to a hospital or health center to be examined and treated for possible venereal disease. There may also be internal injuries. If you decide to press charges, physical specimens collected soon after the rape may be valuable evidence.
• Report the attack even if you do not plan to file charges. Someone who has raped once is likely to rape again. If you turn the rapist in, you may save someone else from being attacked.
• Get help and support. You have been through a trauma and need help to deal with the situation and your feelings. People who seek counselling get over their experiences faster and with fewer lasting effects than those who do not get help.

It's a sad world when one cannot go out on a date without having to worry about being raped. Especially when you're out with someone you've known for weeks, months, years even.

But better to be safe than sorry.

So be careful.
Tell your kids, your friends.
Share this information.

And be well, my friends!

Love always,
Mudd
xoxo

To buy The Truth About Rape by Judith Harper, Kathryn Hilgenkamp, Laura Kittross, and Mark J. Kittleson, Ph. D., go to Amazon.com by clicking here.

P.S.: Questions or not, I would love to hear from you.
Please email me at anxietybuster@gmail.com
or simply click the link on the sidebar.

Zen Story

Two monks were once traveling together down a muddy road. A heavy rain was falling. Coming around the bend, they met a lovely girl in a silk kimono and sash, unable to cross the intersection.

"Come on, girl," said the first monk. Lifting her in his arms, he carried her over the mud.

The second monk did not speak again until that night when they reached a lodging temple. Then he no longer could restrain himself. "We monks don't go near females," he said. "It is dangerous. Why did you do that?"

"I left the girl there," the first monk said. "Are you still carrying her?"

Just Be Yourself

Overpowered? Overextended? Overworked?

Here's another interesting little book:
Simplify Your Life, 100 Ways To Slow Down And
Enjoy The Things That Really Matter.

In way number 73, the author -- Elaine St. James -- has these words for us:

Have you ever stopped to think about how much energy you spend -- and how much you complicate your life -- by pretending to be someone other than who you are? We all do it. It's part of being human, and it was also a big part of the fast-paced life-style of the 1980s.

A good exercise is to sit down and go through all the major areas of your life and decide how each would be different if the only person you had to impress was you. Would you have a different career? What kind of house would you live in? Would you drive a different car? How would you dress? How would you spend your spare time? Would you be married to the person you're married to? Would you have the same friends?

Often we assume various layers of pretense not so much out of our own needs, but because of someone else's. How often are we untrue to ourselves because of the pressures of our family, the demands of our mate, the entreaties of our children? If your life-style reflects someone else's idea of how your life should be, take a few moments to imagine how much simpler it would be if you dropped the pretense and learned to just be yourself.

Throughout the book, Elaine's short texts cover everything from reducing the clutter in your life, to cutting your laundering chore in half, to building a simple wardrobe, to cleaning up your relationships. She will help you simplify your household, your life-style, your job, your health, and your personal life.

If you think your life is too complex, if you crave simplicity,
check out her book at Amazon.com by clicking here.

Let's get back to the essentials and enjoy life's every precious moment!

Love always,
Mudd
x0x0

P.S.: Questions or not, I'd love to hear from you. Please email me at
anxietybuster@gmail.com or simply click the link on the sidebar.