Good Day Sweet People!
Demanding schedules, changing responsibilities, questions of identity, noise pollution, poor diets, too little exercise, fear of the future, drugs and alcohol, job stress... So-called "adult" problems are also the lot of teenagers all over the world.
As a matter of fact, long before teenagers reach their twentieth birthday, they have enough pressures to last a lifetime.
As a parent, you are undergoing a great deal of stress yourself. Here's a book that offers many useful insights and practical exercises to help you -- and your adolescent -- through the turbulent teenage years -- Helping Your Teenager Deal With Stress, A Survival Guide For Parents And Children.
The author, Bettie B. Youngs, Ph.D., Ed.D., is an internationally known educational consultant and author of more than a dozen books on raising happy, healthy and successful young people. Dr. Youngs is a noted expert on the effects of stress and self-esteem on children’s health and achievement.
I've chosen for you the following excerpt from her book:
THE SELF-ESTEEM PROFILE
Is your teenager easily hurt by criticism? Here's a profile to help you and your teenager examine her self-esteem. Have her answer yes or no to the following questions, then read the scoring profile below. One thing to keep in mind is that most teenagers feel bad about themselves from time to time. Therefore, in answering these questions your teenager should think about how she feels most of the time.
- Do you accept constructive criticism?
- Are you at ease meeting new people?
- Are you honest and open about your feelings?
- Do you value your closest relationships.
- Are you able to laugh at (and learn from) your own mistakes?
- Do you notice and accept changes in yourself as they occur?
- Do you look for and tackle new challenges?
- Are you confident about your physical appearence?
- Do you give yourself credit when credit is due?
- Are you happy for others when they succeed?
If your teenager answered most of these questions yes, she probably has a healthy opinion of herself. Whatever the level of your child's self-esteem now, you can help her take positive steps to improve it.
- Are you very shy or overly aggressive?
- Do you try to hide your feelings from others?
- Do you fear close relationships?
- Do you try to blame your mistakes on others?
- Do you find excuses for refusing to change?
- Do you continually wish you could change your physical appearance?
- Are you too modest about personal successes?
- Are you glad when others fail?
If your teenager answered yes to most of these questions, her self-esteem could probably use improvement. Here's how you can help your teenager personally care for her self-concept.
Acceptance
Help your adolescent identify and accept strengths and weaknesses. Everyone has both.
Encouragement
Take a "can-do" attitude. Help your adolescent set a reasonable timetable for personal goals, and offer encouragement along the way.
Praise
Praise your adolescent for, and encourage her to take pride in, her achievements, both great and small. Experiences are personal. We must each enjoy our own.
Time
Teach your child the importance of taking time out regularly to be alone with personal thoughts and feelings, and of getting involved in activities she can enjoy by herself (for example, crafts, reading, or individual sports). She must learn to enjoy her own company.
Trust
Encourage your adolescent to pay attention to her thoughts and feelings, to act on what she thinks is right. Doing what makes her feel happy and fulfilled will be a rewarding experience.
Respect
Help your adolescent value herself and not try to be someone else. Help her explore and appreciate her own special talents.
Love
Your adolescent must come to love herself. This is done by accepting and learning from mistakes and not overreacting to errors, and by accepting her successes and failures as those who love her do.
You can buy Helping Your Teenager Deal With Stress (also available as an audio-cassette) at AllBookstores.com by clicking here.
Good Luck!
Hugs and lots of love,
Mudd
xoxo
P.S.: Questions or not, I'd love to hear from you. Please email me at
anxietybuster@gmail.com or simply click the link on the sidebar.
technorati tags:stress, help, teenagers, self-esteem
